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What a guy wouldn't do for a beautiful woman.
Yeah, Yvette is wearing some unusual dresses, but what does that matter? She's gorgeous and she likes Al. He can put up with a dress made of paper or leaves or wood as long as she comes home with him at the end of the day. But, what about dresses made of fire or metal or lightning? And then, what if he starts having accidents? What if the accidents all have something to do with the dresses Yvette is wearing?
He does what any guy would do. He ignores the fact that she might have something to do with them and tries to rescue her. She is, after all, a beautiful woman. She's much too attractive to be involved in anything sinister... Isn't she?
Magic messes up everything.
It always chooses the worst time to screw things up. Billy is fine. He keeps his magical life away from his normal life and he is happy. If not for his jealous girlfriend, life would be perfect. Then, magic gets in the way and everything falls apart.
Billy’s passion is football. It’s simple. It’s enjoyable. It’s pure. There is only one way to play and it seems incorruptible. Then someone cheats and his world falls apart. The most amazing player in decades turns out to be cheating magically. There is nothing Billy can do. The NFL is a fantasy world. It’s on TV and it’s real, but it’s so far away. Yes, Billy can use magic, he has magical friends, but he is just a fast food manager. He can’t do anything about anything.
Then, everyone in the world suddenly spontaneously transforms into centaurs. They don’t transform into the traditional centaurs with human upper torsos and lower equine bodies. They become centaurs with the lower bodies of a variety of different animals. The world is decimated overnight. People find themselves too small or too big for their vehicles. Cars and planes careen out of control and there is massive loss of life. Everything is affected from food production to transportation to football players. The whole world is in chaos.
Finding out that one of his magical friends is inadvertently associated with the transformation, Billy learns that a magical event is going to take place in the near future. It’s called Brianna’s Call and it’s the return of magic to the Earth. The only way that the world can transform back into their human bodies is for Billy and his friends to intercept Brianna’s Call. In order to do that, Billy is forced join his favorite NFL team and take them to the championship game. Brianna’s Call is going to touch down on Super Bowl Sunday at the Super Bowl.
Along the way, Billy must confront the cheating NFL player, battle powerful wizards intent on collecting Brianna’s Call for themselves, and deal with a jealous girlfriend that isn’t coping with the fact that Billy’s best friend is a girl.
Durf isn't dead.
Brianna's Call is back.
It's all happening again, but nothing is the same. The world is populated by minotaurs and it's all happening at the World Series.
Finding Durf alive, Billy is transported to an alternate world where he finds Durf inhabiting a female baseball player named Billie.
Trying to get to Brianna's call, and thinking that he went back in time, Durf doesn't realize that Billie isn't Billy and that the World Series isn't the Super Bowl or even that Billie is a girl and not a guy.
Making matters worse, Brianna's Call is being chased by a fleet of space ships trying to figure out a way to use the magic. Unfortunately, their forefathers accidentally transformed the magic into a solid state. It is now about to crash into the Earth like a giant meteor.
While trying to transform it back, Billy and the others are forced to confront Durfs from this planet, weapons left behind by the Norse Gods, and alien wizards all while pretending to be female baseball players.
It's the last planet fall for Brianna's Call.
Trapped between worlds, Billy is forced to watch Julie and Mouse struggle with Durf as he winds up on a planet full of nymphs. Enjoying himself to the fullest, Durf joins the team as Mouse falls victim to the uni-mind and Julie merges with a giant millipede.
Able to see both worlds, Billy is helpless as the guys are nearly sacrificed by a group of evil Durfs and there is a problem with his children. One of them keeps disappearing.
It takes a trip through time and several marriage proposal interruptions for Billy to free himself and try to save the day.
When the elf army invades the United States, Aaron looses everything. His wife and children die, his family betrays him, and he learns that he is the catalyst to genocide. Rage and vengeance are the only things keeping him going. His conscience, in the form of a captive centaur, forces him to look past his anger and the inequity of his situation to make the correct choice. At the end, it is up to him to end the war.
Aligning himself with the goblins, Aaron struggles with the fact that everything he knows about elves and goblins seem to be reversed. How can the goblins be the good guys when everything about them seems bad?
Somehow magic comes easy to Aaron. Even the goblins don't understand how he can perform feats that usually take years to master. Aaron doesn't care how he can do it as long as he gets revenge on the elves.
It is that time of the year again, the Apprentice Festival. It's the time that all thirteen year old boys and girls become men and women. They enter into an apprenticeship that will become their career for the rest of their lives. It's supposed to be one of the best days of his life. But, everything keeps going wrong. Even though Lee ends up being the laughing stock of the festival, even though he falls off of the bridge into the moat, even though he is caught playing dress up at a make believe tea party, Lee is positive that he is going to be chosen as the new Wizard's Apprentice.
Unfortunately everything continues to go wrong. Embarrassed and humiliated, Lee walks off of the stage and into more trouble. With the help of his best friend Wanda, the recently proclaimed adults discover the hidden world of the elves. After managing to be blamed for stealing the Zodiac Arsenal artifacts, discovering a different type of magic and destroying all of the magic back on Earth, they are forced to defeat a wizard, befriend a dragon and try to save the city. While trying to accomplish everything, they are forced to teach Lee's worst enemy how to use magic. Of course he twists it around and uses against them.
A werewolf doesn’t transform into existence, it is exchanged into this world from a parallel universe. That transportation is painful and violent because the world it comes from is dominated by evil magic.
After a bizarre experience with a UFO, Greg finds himself spontaneously combusting. Then, everything turns upside down. He finds himself involved with a group of people that have also spontaneously transformed. Greg combusted, so he is now made of fire. Others are made of air, water, lightning, and shadows. They only have two things in common. They all had a weird experience in the normal world and they are no longer at the top of the food chain. They are now the main course for the werewolves.
Outside of the real world, but able to see it, Greg finds that the only way to survive and try to get back is to use magic. It is readily available, but he can’t access the good magic. He has to use the evil, and it exacts a terrible price.
When he traded a bottle of tequila for a girl, he didn’t expect to fall in love with her. Unfortunately, she has a mechanical problem. Finding out about her problem as he is being arrested by the military police, K-bar learns that they think he’s an alien. Since Melody can’t register on anything mechanical, they think that she’s one too.
While K-bar and Melody are helping a real alien, the United States falls under crisis. A presidential scandal incites an international incident. When K-bar returns to Earth, everything is in chaos. Something has to be done. Using a bit of magic and a bit of technology, K-bar comes up with a plan.
To initiate his plan, K-bar has to become the President of the United States. He also has to battle a cyborg bounty hunter, stop an assassination, destroy the government, uncover a conspiracy and completely end taxation.
Jeff could be called a flirt, a philanderer, a lecherous libertine. Yes, he is all of these things. But, he's not all bad. He is also a doting grandfather. When she is magically transformed into a fairy and kidnapped, Jeff is willing to do anything for his granddaughter. He can't tell the police about dwarves and magic. They would think he is crazy. So, he makes himself look guilty as he chases after the only lead available, the magic one.
Learning about this world, the dwarves attempt to restore their former glory by returning and conquering. Unintentionally, they awaken an ancient enemy. In Earth's distant past, dinosaurs roamed the world. They weren't destroyed by a meteor. With the help of magic, they evolved into birds. Now that the dwarves have returned magic to the Earth, the birds have the ability to change back. Caught in the middle of the warring races, Jeff learns that the elves are the dinosaur's true targets.
Fulfilling an Elvin fable, a tall elf falls from the sky. He has the ability to save the elves from the dinosaurs as long as he marries to complete the ancient process. Imprisoned by the dwarves, Jeff's granddaughter Alize transforms into an elf so that she can facilitate communication. Instead of turning into a seven year old elf child, she is changed into a seventeen year old elf woman.
Deciding that he does have morals, Jeff can't let Alize marry the tall elf no matter how much she thinks she wants too. With the dwarves and dinosaurs closing in and the elves trying to take his granddaughter's virtue, Jeff can only turn to a group of women with whom he has compromised his morality.
Slightly confused about everything, the Great Detective blunders his way through case after case, constantly on a diligent lookout for clues to the Great Pickle case. With the help of his Secretary's Great Granddaughter and her boyfriend, the Great Detective sets up a Great Detective's shop inside the local mall. Bungling and stumbling the Great Detective mixes up innocent situations that get him in serious trouble with the other proprietors and employees at the mall. Hounded by the mall security and the girl from SEARS, the Great Detective wiggles and wriggles out of situation after situation determined to solve his greatest case.
Solving the codes at the beginning of each case will give you the clues and lead you to the details of the Great Pickle case.
“Three will become one and the one will confront the dragon.”
Construction is underway on the new space resort, but it doesn’t look like K-bar is going to live to see its completion. The countdown to the dragon wizard’s escape begins when the Nine reunite. Being one of the three, K-bar has only days instead of months. Arranging for the battle, K-bar learns that one of the dragon’s lieutenants has kidnapped one of his friend’s children. Struggling to help them, keep the space resort on schedule and fulfill his campaign promises, K-bar prepares to die so he can battle the dragon. Meanwhile the country is turned upside down when a wall of water one hundred feet high thunders over Southern California. As if held in a gigantic fishbowl, the water stops a third of the way into Arizona and maintains its shape. Adding to the confusion, the Little World and Arizona merge together. Trying to keep the magic people and the regular people from warring against each other, Melody travels to Arizona and unintentionally sets herself up as king. Fighting to rescue the baby, the Nine are flung back in time and set in motion the events that force K-bar into prophecy. Impersonating the President, Robin negotiates with Russia and starts a war against Melody and the reformed state. As everything is falling apart, K-bar is the only one that can stop it from spinning out of control.
The conversion from ground cars to flying cars poses several challenges in regards to police work. Breaking in a detective under a psychiatrist’s care for depression over his wife’s death, veteran Detective Paul Ostrander isn't assigned the most news worthy cases. While they are working drug overdose cases, an entire school bus is kidnapped. Paul and his partner Ed can’t even get close to the case.
As all attention is focused on the school bus kidnapping, their minor string of overdoses reveals evidence of a serial killer. Running into brick wall after brick wall, secrets from Ed’s past begin to emerge. Resisting at first, Paul begins to suspect his partner of the killings.
When the serial killer identifies the school bus kidnapper, he orchestrates a plan to eliminate him and throw the blame on Ed. As the parallel cases overlap, Ed and Paul are forced to come to terms with Ed’s past and use the flying car technology to stop the killer.
Mysterious flying giants appear in the sky. When they land, they don’t try to communicate. One opens a portal into the afterlife reward and another opens a portal into the afterlife pit. All attempts at understanding them fail, partially due to a ring of protection surrounding the giants. Able to survive inside that ring, a priest feels that the giants have a religious significance of which he holds a part. Then, war breaks out. The modern world is destroyed.
Trying to determine his roll with the giants, the priest finds a home among an army of displaced soldiers. Jealousy and disappointment plague the priest as his companions, who can also survive inside the giant’s radius, develop abilities. Over the years as society begins to rebuild, the priest’s admiration of the giants turns to loathing. They seem to be the source of magic popping up all over the world and people begin referring to them as Gods.
Going to great lengths, the priest attempts to bring back his former religion. He goes so far as to form an army so that he can force people to convert back to what he calls the true religion. Finally in a manic frenzy he uses dark magic and sacrifices himself to create a sword designed to kill the giants.
Nothing goes as planned and the sword falls into hands of a young soldier. Battling saber tooth squirrels, evil wizards, and inept superiors, the soldier finds himself on a path leading toward the priest’s ultimate goal.
Werewolves and vampires are a bunch of wusses. In fact, most of the monsters you see in movies and read about in books are pretty substandard. Take vampires for instance. It's hard to find something that can't hurt them. You have sunlight, garlic, wooden stakes, crosses, holy water, fire, silver, beheading, running water, roses, etc... The list goes on and on. Worst of all, they have to ask your permission to let them come into your house to kill you. It's surprising they don't all die from cancer after turning to smoke.
No, if you're looking for a monster for the new millennium, you have to go with a slider. They're arrogant, a little self centered and they can turn into giant snakes. They might have a flaw or two. They eat people instead of veggies. They listen to classic rock bands. And, they have a compulsion for computer games. But, that doesn't mean they're all bad. If you tack on an unfortunate name, an indigestible new girlfriend, a vampire to beat up on and a good old fashioned monster hunt, you come away with quite a little adventure.
K-bar wants to spend the rest of his very short life with Melody. Prophecy won’t let that happen. The dragon is free. The armies are marching. Everything is coming to its imminent conclusion. With friends fighting all around him, K-bar can’t be everywhere at once. Reluctantly, he accepts his fate.
The Three become One.
The fulfillment of prophecy doesn't mean the end of the war. The One still needs to confront the dragon wizard. Nothing is held back. Magic and military join together in an attempt to save the world and possibly the universe.
Once again, lions are on the precipice of evolution. Already living, Ulibarri could care less about what will happen to his species in the near future. He is fifteen years old and his thoughts are on his own survival. To extend his life, he must keep his human virginal. Only a virgin can lure a unicorn and only a unicorn’s magic can add another year to his lifespan. Tanna is very trustworthy and more like one of the family. Still, at the wedding of her sister everything falls apart.
The death of Ulibarri’s brother, an overly generous bid for Tanna’s hand, an attack on the town and a unicorn made completely of ice are capped off by a venomous bite that strips the lion of his extra life and ushers him towards death’s door. Hunting the unicorn is the only thing that can save Ulibarri. Unfortunately for him, he isn’t the only one hunting. Captured and tortured, he can either join with his enemies to save himself or do the right thing and resist.
Tanna’s suitor turns out to be less than what she expected. His evil magical spells disrupt Ulibarri’s defiance of his captors and draws the unicorns to his human. Magic and evolution are mixed to disastrous proportions. Ulibarri is forced to join forces with the ice unicorn he’s been hunting and together they stand against their worst nightmare.
Brianna's Call is over. It's a new season and Billy still hasn't fixed football. Cheating is running rampant and the regular season is starting. Still optimism is high. Billy powers through preseason like a hurricane. He ousts magic from the NFL wherever he can. Then, as the first game looms on the horizon Kansas and the wizard Cecilia turns his world upside down.
In an attempt to beat Cecilia at his own game, Kansas begins a magical merge that entwines the world with an alternate reality. The merge seems to focus on disrupting Billy's life completely. Football becomes little more than a joke and gravity ball takes its place. Furthermore, Mouse is a gravity ball superstar stealing Billy's limelight. She also loses herself to the memories of her alternate self, where she and Billy are an item. It doesn't sit well with his wife Julie.
Billy is over his head trying to fix the merge. He can't do it without Mouse's help. Can she give up the life of a superstar? And, what’s the deal with all of these gremlins.
If you think being shipwrecked on a deserted island is difficult, try being marooned on a different planet.
K-bar, has everything going for him. A high school football star, he is popular and has an enviable future waiting for him. Then his parents fall under a magical influence and attempt to kill him. Everything begins spinning in the wrong direction. As his life falls apart, K-bar strives to reach some type of normalcy. Then, his world is turned upside down again.
Aliens from outer space abduct him. Escape seems impossible until the aliens are attacked by different aliens. In an escape pod, K-bar lands on a planet populated by frightening monsters. Survival seems unlikely. Then he discovers that magic isn’t solely an Earth manifestation. Two magical women are all that save him from freezing temperatures and terrifying creatures with claws and teeth.
Three years in space and the whole world is changed back home. K-bar assumed he would be able to step right back into his old life. He had plans. He had dreams. None of that is possible any longer.
Lost and in search of a new path, K-bar discovers new friends and a new world, a magic world. He also finds a destiny he wasn’t expecting. A prophecy foretells an event in his future that he can’t survive. To reach that fate he must first survive a war.
The only good thing that happens to him now that he is reuniting with a former girlfriend. Well, girl might not be the correct term. But, she brings with her a freedom from the weight of the prophecy, a chance that he might be able to cheat the future.
Attempting to learn magic is just a waste of time. K-bar must rely on his ship and the survival skills he learned on the frozen planet when he encounters a creature that is relentless in its pursuit to kill him. Then, before he is really prepared, war arrives.
Dolphins are intelligent, highly intelligent. The sounds that they make are not a language. They are the equivalent of facial expressions and hand gestures. Wasting his whole life trying to decipher the dolphin’s language, Oz’s grandpa discovers that the dolphins, as a race, have a collective objective. They want to reach out to space and communicate with what’s out there.
To reach space, a human can build a rocket and propel himself out into the interstellar medium. A dolphin doesn’t have hands and can’t build things. They don’t even consider space exploration from a human perspective. Dolphins reach for the great unknown from their point of view, using their assets and abilities.
When his grandpa dies, Oz is swept up in the dolphin’s designs. Helping them as a tribute to his grandpa, Oz puts his career, his budding romance, his entire life on hold. Nothing goes like he imagines and his whole world changes.
It had to be the name. There is nothing else it could be. Crap what a name. Crap is a slider.
A slider is a very impressive and pretty scary monster. It didn’t make sense that the lowest of the lowlife monsters wanted to be around him. He’d just gotten rid of a vampire, the most substandard monster around, when a trio of their counterparts glue themselves to him. It is amazing that the human race feels that they need the profession of vampire hunter. It is probably just one of those minimum wage jobs that they hang on people that can’t make it as a dishwasher or a ditch digger. It is hard to tell how to hold a hammer the right way up, but it is even harder not to accidentally kill a vampire.
Receiving his most difficult assignment to date, Crap is plagued with three vampire hunters that think he is a vampire. It’s ridiculous, but intelligence isn’t a prerequisite when it comes to vampire hunting. Trying his best not to trip over the hunters, Crap tracks his prey all the way back to Cornucopia. Along the way he gets on the wrong side of the King under the Lake and a former vampire that wants to return to her monstrous ways.
To top everything off, the President of the United States is trying to make a move on his girlfriend. The moon will never be the same.
Oh no! It happened again. Another ridiculous detective novel. If you didn’t get enough the first time around there is probably something wrong with you. However, if you still want more, open the book and start reading. And remember, it’s not a crime to be stupid but it should be.
Nothing is how it seems. It’s time for a new perspective, a Great Detective’s perspective. Everything that happens is a clue. And, every clue leads to a new case. Someone has to protect the city from crime or better yet, someone needs to protect the city from the Great Detective.